The Brown Monster

Gary leaned over the edge of the subway platform and noticed that the train was not coming. "Fuck."

The rumbling in his lower abdomen started again, the butterflies in his stomach flared up, and the diarrhea feeling flared up in his genitals as if someone lightly slapped him there.

He looked again down the tunnel hoping to see the lights of an oncoming train. Nothing.

He knew that he shouldn't have had the fudge brownie a la mode. Or, maybe it was the bacon Swiss burger he had before that? In any case, he was sure that the three Guinness' didn't help either.
He closed his eyes and concentrated on tightening his butt cheeks. He willed the feeling to go away.

The train arrived. The diarrhea sensation whittled away. As Gary sat, he said a little prayer hoping that the feeling would not return and that the train would not experience any delays.
He didn't pray because he was religious - he prayed because he was in deep trouble and his Catholic upbringing taught him to pray in times of need.

The train sped along and reached the next express station quickly. Gary figured he'd make it home with no problems.

At the next station, the conductor announced that the train was being delayed for a slight moment. Immediately, Gary felt the butterflies in his stomach, then the gas bubbles building up in his intestines.

He knew that he couldn't just pass gas to feel better because, deep within his intestines, there was a beast waiting to be unleashed. He knew he was in trouble.

The train progressed smoothly but Gary felt that it was still too slow for the predicament that he was in. He was afraid that he may have to improvise.

He looked at the door that led from one subway car to the next. It was late at night and nobody was passing between the cars. He thought that maybe he can squat down between the cars and take care of business there. Nah, knowing his luck, somebody would walk in on him.

Shit, what was he to do? He couldn't just get off the train and go look for a bathroom. He was in upper-Manhattan and the neighborhoods were bad.

He decided to sit and suffer in silence because, if he moved, he felt that he would poop on himself.
Only ten more stops to go. He'd figure it would take about 15 minutes. He can only think about how inviting the toilet seat must be.

He fought the great brown monster by himself. Every time he felt that he was going to explode, he'd clench his butt cheeks and squeeze his PC muscle tightly. He'd also say a prayer. Sometimes, the feeling subsided but it didn't go away for good.

It was boiling in his intestines. The gas bubbles built up so much that he thought his intestines would explode. Suddenly his stomach made a horrible growl. The bubbles of gas were popping in his lower-back.

People in his car started looking around with weird looks on their faces trying to find out who the culprit was. Gary wanted to die. Thank God nobody noticed that it was him.
Gary was deep in meditation when the train finally reached his station. He snapped out of it then gingerly walked off the train.

Gary was almost walking on his tip-toes as he tried to hurry home. The beast in his belly growled and snarled as if it wanted to be unleashed. "Fuck you," he thought. "You will come out when I say you can come out."

He had to walk gingerly or else the impact of his footsteps would cause the monster to rear its ugly head.

"Gary," someone shouted. Gary looked up to see that it was Dave; someone he hadn't seen in over a year. Gary knew Dave would stop him to talk.

"How's everything going, man?" Dave said.

"Everything's cool. How about you?"

"Couldn't be better." A weird look appeared on Dave's face. "Are you okay, man?"

"Not really. I really have to go. Come by my apartment. I'm still at 14J." Gary started walking.
"Okay, Gary. I'll catch you soon."

Gary quickly walked into the building then waited for the elevator. It took its time coming down. Gary looked at the indicator which stayed still at "12". He felt the gas bubbles bursting in his intestines and felt that he couldn't take it. He knew he had to be strong. He came this far and knew he couldn't give up now.

Finally, the elevator started moving. It came down to "5" but stopped again. Gary felt as if he would faint. "Stay strong. Stay strong." He closed his eyes and only concentrated on keeping the monster under control.

The elevator came and, thankfully, nobody that Gary knew came out. The elevator doors closed.
As the elevator went up it did so slowly. The beast gave another angry roar in frustration. Finally, the elevator arrived at the 14th floor.

Gary quickly tiptoed to the door and started unlocking it. As he did so the beast made one last mad rush to come out.

"Stay inside, you son of a bitch," Gary growled. He unlocked the door and quickly ran into the bathroom. He hurriedly took off his pants and sat on the toilet. He didn't even have time to grab reading material.

He unleashed the monster. It came out roaring with an angry rage that shook the earth. The bathroom filled with the most god-awful stench created by the hand of man.
None of this affected Gary. He sat on his throne smiling - knowing that he was victorious over the angry brown beast.